Emotion.

So I’ve changed a lot this past month.. I have been sober and it feels great! I see a lot of different things from a different perspective or point of view. I mean my brain isn’t fried anymore haha, I was steaming everyday and I think that’s what I really want to talk about. I’m not saying i’m against weed or anything, I honestly think it’s one of the best things on this Earth! But something I do know, is that it does affect you in many ways. In highschool I was known as the “stoner” or “pothead” at the time. It was something I enjoyed doing everyday. I mean I had my issues and problems here and there, but i’m not gona blame it on that. I can say I really was addicted. It sucked, but I couldn’t help it. It got to the point when I started to realize the change in my relationship with my close friends, especially one I consider my brother. They didn’t smoke at the time, so they would always avoid me and do a lot of stuff without me. Honestly, I was heartbroken and hurt. I couldn’t tell them because it would only make me a bitch. But damn man, there were times I wanted to cry. Senior year was the worst year of my life. My friends didn’t realize it but they left me lonely. They’d go everywhere together without me, and I’d go to school to hear all the fun they had and this and that. A good friend of mine once told me he had seen them one time without me, and asked for me, and their response was “Oh we don’t really hang out with him anymore, he just gets high” And man did that hurt.. They broke me, but they didn’t realize it one bit. They even got close to one of my long lasting lovers. I didn’t mind, but they would always hang out with her and do everything with her, and me? Pffft they didn’t care, they wouldn’t wana hang out with me for the heck of it. It’s like they got closer to my ex, and totally forgot about me (their bestfriend) Senior year was the hardest for me, because my own friends didn’t want me. I wanted to seriously move, but I stayed strong and just did me.. No matter how hard I tried to have their backs or wanted to just hang, they would still push me away. I know they are still my friends, I consider them my brothers till this day, but man did they really hurt me.. Crazy thing is now, they are the ones getting high, and it’s an everday process for them. Now, that im sober, I see what they saw in me when I was in highschool and I don’t blame them one bit! They did what they did, and I lived with it. I guess I just been holding this in for the longest time and I wanted to let my emotions out. I do feel a lot better now! (deep breathe)